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"I hope it gives you hope as others stories have done for me. We all know the horrors of this... but there is great hope!" ~ Sue P. Sue's story of supporting her daughter through detox brings up an often 'counterintuitive' approach that most argue violates the "Mom Code" We'll let you decide. Here's the rest of her story below as posted verbatim inside our private group. "My daughter safely checked into detox today (and it was a nail biter for me!) and she said she is staying for rehab too! This follows 13 months of turmoil and relapse, which follows 4-5 years of chaos, loss, addiction. Several rehabs. There has been change talk, alternating with denial for weeks now. She did it. She arranged it. She got there. She likened her life to being like the teacup ride. “I’m spinning in all different directions, and I want to get off this ride.” She said there is nothing holding her back now—no job to get back to, no relationship, no real home, no true friends. She says she is broken. I wanted to fly there, to soothe her, make her feel loved, to give her hope, etc etc. . What we all have done over and over…. But I had to rely on all the things I’ve learned in this program. I reviewed stages of change over and over until i believed that the catalyst to move from contemplation to determination to action is negative consequences. I had to let her stay in that darkness and had to hope, pray & trust that what I’ve learned is true. I knew I couldn’t continue to do what I’ve always done… I watched a show 2 nights ago that told the story of a family of eagles. The parents carefully built the nest and cared for the egg. They fed the baby until she could feed herself. They brought her food and she grew. When she was almost as big as them, they started bringing food less often. Then they stopped. She called for them, she scanned the sky looking for them and they didn’t come… She started flapping her wings and they grew stronger. She learned she could stand on a branch and flap. She grew stronger and could jump 6in off the branch and flap. Still, she called for them. They didn’t come. One day, she flew to the next tree. If her parents had continued to feed her, she may never have learned to fly. That lesson helped me so much and I’ve thought of it often these last 2 days. My daughter was in a dark place. She was crying and broken for months. I had to let her stay there. Without abandoning her, while loving her another way. I know this fight is not over. You are all true warriors and together we are changing our lives 1 decision, 1 conversation (& lots of duct tape!), 1 pocket of joy at a time. I cherish you and am grateful! ~Sue P. go.livewellandfully.com/govip