新媒网 · 跨境数据社区

It’s the morning of my graduation, and I am teary about it. I wasn’t actually going to go to it initially purely because my brain can’t cope with being around that many people at one given time, but I knew I’d regret it, so I went along anyways with my four kids in tow. I wipe tears periodically throughout the morning while getting ready. The realization that I've made it this far fills my chest with the weight that I never thought I would. I had spent my time studying for this degree suicidal and battling complex post-traumatic stress disorder, so to be standing on that stage felt surreal. It felt almost as if I had woken up from a bad dream, filled with a sense of relief, while the pain of the past, Sarah, still continues to fill my eyes with warm tears on this day, even as I write this. I hope that one day I do stop crying for her though, but for now I guess she still needs me to and I am more than ok with that. Having my children be there with me was not only comforting but also very important to me as a newly found healthy mother, a role model for them. This degree isn't just for me; it's for them too. I wanted them to see that not only is it never too late to pursue your dreams but also to never give up in life no matter how hard things get. I want them to say, “If my mom can do it, so can I,” while facing the challenges life will evidently bring them in the future. With a heavy heart filled with love for them, the four not-so-little chambers of my heart that keep me going, thank you for keeping me on track with my sobriety and my healing. You have been the stars in my darkest nights throughout these last couple of years and I am forever grateful. I promise to never let you climb those hard mountains of life alone; I'll climb them with you, hand in hand, how it should be. You will never face life alone as long as I am still breathing. I promise. 💛🌻⭐️