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I WON’T BORE YOU WITH THE DETAILS, BUT IT IS WITH GREAT PLEASURE AND PRIDE THAT I HEREBY ANNOUNCE THAT FLENDS OF JEROME IS OFFICIALLY LOCKED IN. MANY PEOPLE ARE ASKING - WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO LOCK IN? OF COURSE THERE ARE THE CORE TENANTS OF THE LOCKED IN LIFESTYLE THAT WE ALL KNOW AND ACCEPT - AMONG THEM ARE DISCIPLINE, PRIDE, INTROSPECTION, PANACHE, PIZAZZ, HARD WORK, DETERMINATION, AND THE “X” FACTOR - BUT THERE IS SOMETHING MORE. LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT LOCKING IN. YEAR IN, YEAR OUT, WE SEE THE SAME THING : BUNCH OF WELL-MEANING STARRY-EYED IDEALISTS EMERGE FROM MONTHS OF SLOVENLY SELF-SABOTAGE WHAT WITH THE HOLIDAYS AND ALL, SAYING TO THEMSELVES AND ALL WITHIN EARSHOT “THIS IS MY YEAR”. THE VISION INCLUDES ABS, TANNED FLESH, PERHAPS A BIG OL TATTOO, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, A PARADE OF SHOCKED AND SOBBING HATERS, STANDING DILIGENTLY ON QUEUE TO ONE-BY-ONE BEG FOR FORGIVENESS AND CONFESS THEIR WRONGDOING. WELL, IT IS NOW SPRING. HOW GOES THE LOCKED-IN-JOURNEY? PLATEAUS ARE ORDINARY, AND TO BE CELEBRATED. TO FALTER IS HUMAN. IF THE SHACKLE BE DIFFIDENCE, THEN THE KEY, MOST CERTAINLY, IS SHAMONA. I HAVE PERSONALLY CONDUCTED THE INVENTORY, AND I AM THRILLED TO REPORT THAT THE SHAMONAL WATERTOWERS HERE AT FOJ INC ARE SIMPLY OVERFLOWING. WE GOT A REAL GREAT BOSTON MOLASSES DISASTER SITUATION BREWING. IT IS FOR THIS REASON THAT WE WILL BE CONDUCTING A SHAMONAL DISTRIBUTION CEREMONY / FITNESS JUBILEE / KEYNOTE ADDRESS. SATURDAY MAY THE 31st YEAR OF OUR LORD 2k25 FLENDS OF JEROME APPEARS FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER AT THE SUPREMELY KIND @wowphilly IN BEAUTIFUL PHILADELPHIA PENNSYLVANIA FOR TWO SETS OF FUTURE HOUSE DEAD, SO SLEEK, SOPHISTICATED, AND FRAGRANCE-INFUSED THAT THE HYPER EXCLUSIVE CLUBS KNOWN ONLY TO THE EUROPEAN INTELLIGENTSIA WILL DO A PROVERBIAL DOUBLE TAKE WHEN THEY SEE THE TYPE OF VIBE CULTIVATION IN STORE. THIS IS CLUB FLENDS PULL UP A CHAIR STAY A WHILE TICKET LINK IN BIO