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When every conflict leaves you more alone than before. Some women leave after the first big fight. Others stay for years – quietly breaking inside. I work with the second kind. The ones who still believe in the relationship. The ones who know: “This is my person.” But who can no longer deny that something is deeply wrong. They don’t want to leave. They want to stop feeling hurt, lonely, unseen – in a relationship that once felt like home. I’m Anna and developed this process after years of navigating conflict in my own relationships – and seeing how traditional advice just wasn’t enough. Today, I help women transform painful arguments into connection – using a clear structure that’s already helped dozens of others feel emotionally safe again. Because the truth is: It’s not the love that’s missing. It’s emotional safety. Arguments don’t have to destroy your bond. But most couples never learned how to fight in a way that brings them closer. This isn’t therapy. It’s practical, grounded emotional work that starts with one essential step: Clarity. 👉 Take the free 3-minute quiz – and find out what’s truly blocking the connection you still believe in.

When every conflict leaves you more alone than before. Some women leave after the first big fight. Others stay for years – quietly breaking inside. I work with the second kind. The ones who still believe in the relationship. The ones who know: “This is my person.” But who can no longer deny that something is deeply wrong. They don’t want to leave. They want to stop feeling hurt, lonely, unseen – in a relationship that once felt like home. I’m Anna and developed this process after years of navigating conflict in my own relationships – and seeing how traditional advice just wasn’t enough. Today, I help women transform painful arguments into connection – using a clear structure that’s already helped dozens of others feel emotionally safe again. Because the truth is: It’s not the love that’s missing. It’s emotional safety. Arguments don’t have to destroy your bond. But most couples never learned how to fight in a way that brings them closer. This isn’t therapy. It’s practical, grounded emotional work that starts with one essential step: Clarity. 👉 Take the free 3-minute quiz – and find out what’s truly blocking the connection you still believe in.

Many people who have come to me for Christian marriage or couples counselling have come because there is an issue with the term “partner”. Their problems emanate from having a partner who is a partner in the noun-sense, but not a partner in the verb-sense. They have a partner who has the appearance of a partner, but they aren’t actually a partner. Partnership has an equality about it in that partners to a partnership communicate and relate with one another in a way that is mutually pleasing and mutually beneficial. Both feel they have equivalent power and say in the relationship, from the daily decisions to the life plans that they share. Both share in a worthwhile and sustaining relationship. If there is hardship, they both share in it. If there is something to rejoice, they both rejoice. Sharing is a key premise in partnerships. Sharing is about both having an equal stake in the flow and action of the relationship. Both work equivalently and both enjoy the benefits of their work. There isn’t an imbalance in either the work done or the spoils of that work. Neither partner is consistently advantaged or disadvantaged in any patterned way over the other. Partners in the verb-sense of the word do genuinely feel that their marriage relationship adds to their life, whereas partners only in the noun-sense of the word find the partnership detracts from their life. The former feel loved through the receipt of effort from their partner who is working hard for the partnership. The latter, however, feel resentful that too much of the weight of the load of the relationship rests with them, like having another child or pet in the house to take care of. The concept of marriage is one of equality in that the two have become one flesh (Genesis 2:24) and the good practical effect of this is supposed to be that both work for the other. It doesn’t always occur, however, for there are many who do the bare minimum and therefore miss vital opportunities to love their partner. And that’s the main point! Love isn’t only a feeling, it’s a verb, it’s a ‘doing’ word. To love our partner we reach toward them in attempts to outdo them in kindness, patience, grace, gentleness, and other practicalities that ‘speak’ love to the other. Love has a way of being seen, felt, and experienced by the recipient. It’s not the person doing the loving who dictates the effect of their love – it’s the recipient. This is an important differentiation in the partners of the verb-sense. They do their love selflessly and their partner feels their love. Partners of the noun-sense do their love often from selfish motives to be noticed and appreciated and their partners feel missed and annoyed. Noun-sense partners want recognition and kudos for the most basic of acts that their verb-sense partners are always doing. My strong encouragement for all partnered relationships is that they be equally-yoked, which is coupled together as in oxen who plough evenly the ground of life together. Verb-sense partner coupled with verb-sense partner, that’s the ideal. They do their work together and get gratification working together as a team.

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